Our Personal Journey
The mundane trial and tribulations of our lives can seem insignificant next to some of the most exciting stories, whether they be fictional or historic. I believe that when we seek change in ourselves, our inner conflicts and triumphs can feel just as epic. The only difference is the significance we apply. By choosing to lift ourselves up as the heroes in our story, our motivation can increase in response.
A way of viewing epic tales is through the idea of the Hero’s Journey. The hero is pulled into adventure, finds personal growth, triumphs through dire situations, and returns home changed for the better. The process of recovering from an injury, starting a new exercise regime, dealing with hardship at work, or even increasing our mindfulness can all be viewed through this lens!
Inspired by a combination of models of storytelling and behavioral change, I offer you a condensed version of the Hero’s Journey, one that is just as applicable to grandiose tales of adventure as it is to our own pursuits of self-improvement and self-mastery.
Come with me as I guide you on an adventure of your very own!
Disclaimer: I cannot be held accountable for any gnolls, trolls, or dire moles you may encounter along the way. I will provide generous moral support during any such encounters, however.
The Call to Adventure
Something isn’t sitting right in our lives. That twinge in our back is making it harder to sleep through the night. Those comfy pants are no longer comfy. If we send one more pleasantly worded follow-up email, our laptop is going through a wall. Whether it’s something we’ve chosen or been chosen for, there’s change on the horizon.
So many of our favorite stories start in a similar fashion. Our protagonist is pulled from a life of relative comfort and normality and thrust into a situation filled with uncertainties and excitement. Katniss volunteers as tribute in place of her sister. Tony Stark gets abducted from his playboy lifestyle and realizes his company is making weapons for terrorists. Shrek’s swamp gets gentrified.
Other times, we are aware of the potential for change, but we aren’t ready to make that leap. We have power converters to pick up and second breakfasts to prepare. Our annual physical is showing a pattern of elevated blood pressure but work is just really stressful right now and the kids’ soccer season just started so we’re getting McDonald’s again.
This might be where we need some assistance along the way, just like our favorite protagonists. Finding our own Yoda, Gandalf, or Rafiki might be the help we need to do the hard introspective work to understand why now might be the right time for change. Heck, Harry Potter had an entire tenured faculty of wizardly mentors. For us, it might be a personal trainer, wellness coach, or even a therapist to work out those harder brain-knots. There’s never any shame in getting this support, in fact it helps us understand the dormant potential that’s been inside us the entire time.
Suddenly, Grolf understood he would need to make changes to his rage-based lifestyle.
Crossing the Threshold
We know there’s a need for change and through whatever means, we’re ready to give it our all. We just need to put one foot in front of the other and start moving. Crossing the line from inaction to action can be one of the hardest parts of our own wellness journeys, but when reframed in the lens of our own heroic journeys it can become so much more exciting.
The scenes where Peter Parker takes off his glasses and starts to figure out his powers are always so engaging because we can see the possibilities for the change in his life. We’re even thrilled to watch Harry Potter walk through a dive bar and do his magical school shopping. For ourselves, buying our first yoga mat, opening a new cookbook, or joining that first call with our therapist can be just as enthralling. By being mindful of the invigorating change and endless possibilities before us, we can embody that transition point in our own hero’s journey.
As Obi-Wan Kenobi put it “You've taken your first step into a larger world.”
“These will help me conjure up a wonderous dose of fiber!” Minelea thought to herself.
Facing the Trials
Watching a character succeed repeatedly without any challenge doesn’t make for a good tale, so why do we expect that to be true for ourselves? If the dinosaurs never got loose in Jurassic Park, it would be a documentary about dinosaur reproduction and the benefits of a good risk management strategy. If Frodo and Sam rode eagles into Mt Doom, slam dunked the ring, and made it home for second breakfast that wouldn’t be much of a story.
Change is difficult, whether it is facing the aches and pains of a new exercise routine or sitting in five minutes of meditation for the first time. Trudging through repeated discomfort may not feel great in the moment, but reflecting after every endeavor and savoring the feeling of small successes lets us see that we are making progress and that each hurdle has made us a slightly more improved version of ourselves. Cue the training montage!
Turns out nature wasn’t the best choice as an instructor for the afternoon ‘Beginner’s Flow’ class.
Triumph in the Darkest Hour
When we have failures in our own wellness routines, it is so easy to see it as a sign to give up. It could be that you break your exercise streak due to an injury and lose motivation to pick it up again. You could have the work week from hell and fall out of cooking meals at home in favor of a slice of 7/11 pizza for every meal.
In our most treasured stories it is these moments that make the inevitable triumph so much sweeter. If Luke Skywalker didn’t get his arm cut off by his newly reunited evil father, the moment when Vader restores balance to his work-life relationship by tossing his boss into a chasm wouldn’t feel so good. Frodo literally must get his finger bitten off to avoid his final temptation and complete his quest! When we face these world-ending moments ourselves, it’s paramount to understand the narrative of our story doesn’t end there and that the next chapter begins “She threw down her half-eaten pizza and said ‘I got a date with a chef’s salad, tonight’”
As Mr. Gamgee puts it himself: “It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. ”
Despite knowing it was trapped, nothing in Amara’s rigorous thieves’ guild training prepared her for how tantalizing that slice looked.
Return and Reflection
When our goals transition into routines and the changes that spurred us into action become the new normal, our journey has come to an end. Just like the Hobbits returning home with all their treasures and stories, we too can incorporate these successes into our new lives and thrive.
When we hit our goals, taking time to stop and picture ourselves in our deeply deserved epilogue helps us see the difference our triumphs and struggles have brought. Savoring the mastery we have developed is so critical in curating a sense of appreciation in the present and inspiring future successes, even if it is something as small as avoiding looking at our phones the first thing in the morning. It is perfectly okay to rest and soak in this moment and let the comfort last. Even a brave adventurer needs to kick up their feet for a while and let themselves heal before their next quest.
I firmly believe that when we are at the beginning of our own wellness story by writing the ending first, we can better achieve this greater future for ourselves. What does the final scene look like when the protagonists have overcome their trials and get to walk off into the sunset or nestle in at home with their loved one? Yes, skipping to the back of the book to see if everyone makes it out safely may be looked down upon, but we’re the authors of our own story and we can do what we want. Knowing our ending makes the how we get that much more enjoyable, if you ask me.
“The real treasure was the friends we made along the way… and mountain of gold we found in the dragon’s horde, I guess.”